Update On Joanne

Okay. Now that I have had a chance to snooze and be slightly more refreshed, I wanted to remind everyone how much the outpouring of support means to me and our whole family.

In the twenty six odd years we have been together, I have often said that if I had a dollar for every time I said, "Sorry honey, I'm a goof" I would be a gazillionaire.

There are some boys on the baseball team - for which I did not play this summer for the first time in 17 years, I miss you guys! - who have often said that they would be in the poorhouse if they brought a dozen roses to their better half when they had to say, "Sorry honey, I'm a goof."

Now Joanne and I got involved with a ministry at our church - Marriage Preparation (Engaged Encounter) - after about four years of marriage. It was a wonderfully rewarding experience as we got to share in the lives of a lot of different people as we explored the many different topics on this "course".

Often, my favourite times were when there was obviously one half of the couple who wasn't Catholic, and the disdain for being at this "course" was expressed by the body language of crossed arms and furrowed brows.It was such a joy for me when I saw them finally relax and have a laugh at some kind of moronic stupidity I did or said. We could then COMMUNICATE and share our lives with these couples and hopefully send them off well on their lives together.

One year when trying to invest some new energy into our talks, we decided to go to a Marriage Encounter. It is a similar kind of "course" as the Marriage Prep except the couples are already married. Now instead of releasing my moronic stupidity on people just starting out in a marriage, I was able to do it to some couples who had twenty five years in. Same shtick, different audience.

All of this has led me to tell you that one of the most powerful lessons Joanne and I learned was how to apologize to each other. I don't think it was something specifically drawn from any of the resource materials. It may have been, we've just been doing it for so long I guess we incorporated into "us" and it became "ours".

It is the fact that we don't say, "I'm sorry" to each other.

When you say "I'm sorry" only you participate in the process.

We found the way for us both to participate in the process was by asking the other person, "Will you forgive me?" It opens the door to trust. If you are asking the question, you are admitting that you have done something wrong and you trust that the other person will indeed forgive you, but also will not judge you.

If you are receiving the question, you are given the awesome responsibility of being able to provide grace and dignity to a person that is inherent to giving forgiveness. That is being as close to God sometimes as we mere mortals can.

Is it any wonder why Joanne has been blessed with an unlimited supply of grace and dignity from God?

If I had a dollar for every time I asked Joanne to forgive me, I'd be a gazillionaire.